Raisin Rapture Pops a Tylenol

I look in the mirror for the first time in a while. I let my clothes fall to the dirty tile and see just how red I am. Red from scratching, blue from sunburn, green from hickeys, purple stretch marks. Are my hips too skinny? See how my stomach juts out? Do you think my vagina protrudes? I’m scared of sex ChatGPT. Lying on the floor for so long makes me consider suicide. So does saying no to sex, can I be normal? Can I fuck her when she wants? Can I kill myself if I get tired? Can I walk into A-wing in a beanie and a binder and inhale, remember where I’ve smelled this before? Was it third grade? Am I too fat to deserve sexual pleasure? Not all the forsythias in the world could make up for the ink I spill on her body. Can I kill myself if I get tired?

Ronit May is a twenty year old social work student at Ramapo College. Their work has been published in The Closed Eye Open’s Issue XI, The Blood Pudding, StreetLit, and more. Their second chapbook, A Sentence Is A Garden You Stumble Through (Hoping To Pick A Word So Beautiful), is a note on living queerly and delightfully and bipolar. It is currently available for purchase upon request.